Troll: noun 1) A mythical creature who is known for its ugliness and surly manner. 2) A commenter on a blog who, instead of disagreeing respectfully, logically, and thoughtfully resorts to insults, circular arguments, and/or bull-headed repetition. 3) A cute doll with colorful, goofy hair.

For all intents and purposes, this handy-dandy guide will focus on definition two, as I assume no one on the internet is a hobgoblin or a plastic doll. (Though if you are, you are still welcome here!)

So, you wanna comment on this blog (and others) without being a troll? Well guess what…you can! And still disagree with the authors! It’s not that difficult, I promise. Your trusty guide, Kacie, will walk you through step-by-step onto how to comment (and even express dissent!) on a feminist blog without turning into a mean, nasty troll!

1) NEVER EVER USE RACIST OR SEXIST SLURS. Really, it’s a bit of a no-brainer, but I figure I’d throw it out there. Nothing screams “TROLL” louder than a commenter who insists on using offensive language. Cursing is ok, especially to express anger at the patriarchy. However, name-calling rooted in sexist or racist origins, of the author, other readers, or a third party will earn the commenter  automatic  Troll Status and they will be subject to deletion.

• WRONG WAY: “Hilary Clinton is a stuck up cunt, and so are you!”
• RIGHT WAY: “I disagree with many of  Hilary Clinton’s policies and sometimes she seems a bit inaccessible to the average American.”

2) Refrain from relying on the “what about teh menz?!” argument: This is a feminist blog. I write about feminist issues. Yes, I care about how gender roles affect both men and women, and yes, men are important and face unique hardships, and I will occasionally discuss male-centered issues as they relate to gender. But the fact of the matter is, in a patriarchy, men are not oppressed solely on their gender. So even though small numbers of men are raped/victims of domestic violence/discriminated against in traditionally female jobs, it is not because they are oppressed as men, and at the end of the day, women’s issues when it comes to gender are more pervasive in our society. Don’t like it? Well, start your own blog and bitch about it there, because you are just wrong and I don’t want out-and-out ignorance on my blog.

• WRONG WAY: “Ummm…talking about domestic violence as a women’s issue is stupid because men are more victimized when it comes to domestic due to false accusations!”
• RIGHT WAY: “Punishment of innocent men in domestic violence cases is a problem caused by the justice system, but it doesn’t erase the fact that women are more often the victims of domestic abuse. We should think about ways to improve the system that will better serve the victims AND will leave less room for false imprisonments.” (Note how this comment acknowledges men can be at a disadvantage but doesn’t erase/replace the woman-centered issues.)

3) Unpack your fucking privilege before criticizing another’s experience. Quick! Your privilege is showing! Really, you need to think about what your privileges are before you dismiss another’s experience. White people often dismiss people of color’s discrepancies because they fail to notice that racism exists. Men have trouble seeing sexism because it rarely affects them. Straight folks don’t realize how difficult it is to be out and gay in America. Welcome to privilege. Really, what’s yours? I will state mine right here: I AM A STRAIGHT, WHITE MIDDLE CLASS PERSON. I have lived a pretty easy life in most areas because my family has enough to money to put me at an advantage and my skin color has not been a barrier for me. When you start to accept and realize your privileges, you can better navigate other people’s experiences without falling prey to dismissing them simply because they don’t fit in with your experiences. For example, “Plenty of my female friends make good money, so the wage gap isn’t real,” or “Racism doesn’t exist, look at Colin Powell/Barack Obama/Condolizza Rice,” or “if poor people worked harder, they wouldn’t be poor! My grandpa worked hard and got his family to a better place” are all dismissing people’s experience simply by assuming YOUR EXPERIENCE applies to ALL experiences.

• WRONG WAY: “You are being overly sensitive about this sexist image/racist language/classist legislation/homophobic joke. Because I am male/white/middle class/straight and I never really see these ‘isms’ they can’t exist!”
• RIGHT WAY: “While in my life I have never really been the object of sexism/racism/classism/homophobia, this certain piece has made me think about my privileges. And while I still disagree with you on <enter issue here> for <these reasons> that doesn’t mean that these <isms> don’t exist within our culture.

4) Don’t be a rape apologist. It’s pretty easy, guys. Don’t say “she cried rape.” Don’t victim-blame by calling into question the victim’s sexual past, her use of drugs or alcohol, or any sort of “irresponsibilites” on her part. Don’t scream “INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.” And don’t refer to her as someone with a vendetta/no brain/no autonomy by blasting on about “false accusations.” If you actually want to talk about the implications of rape, why don’t you first think about  what would happen if someone you loved was raped? Your little sister? Your girlfriend? Your wife? Your daughter? Would you accuse her of being a slut? Would you say it was her fault for drinking? (If the answer to either questions is yes, please get the hell off my site because you are a heartless asshole and I don’t want to deal with you.) So empty yourself of all victim-blaming bullshit before proceeding. You can disagree with the definition of rape (I’ll argue with you) and the problems with rape and society, but don’t rely on slut-shaming tactics.

• WRONG WAY: “It’s obvious that this so-called rape victim needed to take some responsibility for herself by not drinking/going out alone at night/daring to have sex in the past/possessing a vagina. I’m not saying she deserved to be raped, but if she didn’t do <insert saucy harlot behavior here> she might not have been raped!”
• RIGHT WAY: “I am a little unclear about when you say that a person cannot give legal consent when they are drunk. Doesn’t that strip all autonomy from the victim? It just seems a little patronizing to me.”

5) Know what feminism is and don’t use prejudiced assumptions about it to try and shape your argument. For fuck’s sake, don’t operate on what you THINK feminism is before talking about it. Did it ever occur to you that none of us feminist blogger popped out of the womb with all these ideas and opinions on oppression; instead it took us lots of time reading lots of literature and doing lots of soul searching. I urge you to do the same. A lot of trolls’ ideas about feminism spring from the backlash. So really, research before you open your craw. Not all feminists are man-haters, fat, ugly, or gay. And even though there are feminists who fit some or all of these descriptions, this is not a valid argument against them. Instead, it dismissed their actual arguments and focuses on attacking their person.

• WRONG WAY: “What you are saying is completely wrong because you are obviously a man-hating bull dyke who refuses to shave her legs, weighs 200lbs, and has a face that not even a mother could love. You are worthless, and therefore so is your argument.”
• RIGHT WAY: “I disagree with your argument.”

6) If the blog owner (in this case, me!) deletes your comments, it is because you are breaking these rules. Yes we are silencing you because you aren’t adding to the discourse, you are silencing it. Don’t like it? Well start your own blog and whine about it there, because it’s not showing up here.

• WRONG WAY: Blog owner deletes your comments repeatedly, so you keep posting them over and over and over and over, mixing it up with the occasional “You’re oppressing me!” comment.
• RIGHT WAY: Start your own anti-feminist blog and blab about your problems with all of us evil womyns over there. I’m sure you’ll get plenty of readers.

It’s not too hard. By following these simple guidelines, you CAN disagree with me and have your voice be heard, and not be labeled a troll.